Linky Dinky of the Day

If you haven't already heard of Go Fug Yourself, you must do your funny bone a favor and read it. It's a blog dedicated to skewering the ridiculous fashions of the Hollyweird gang, and it is FUNNY. When you read it, not only will you get some good jollies from laughing at the ridiculousness that is the celebrity mind, or stylist, or whatever, but you will also see a different side of George Clooney, learn that there is, somewhere in New York City, a creature named Phoebe Price who is apparently famous for. . .something, and gain a whole new respect for Joan Collins. And some other stuff, but when you start reading it every dang day like I do, you'll know exactly what I mean.

Check out this particular picture of Amy Winehouse--when I saw it, all I could think was "They tried to make me go to teeth-hab, but I said noooooo, nooooooooo, noooooooo. . ." Hee hee how can you not love Amy Winehouse? She's like a hot lunatic with a scary Africanized killer beehive and filthy ballet slippers. And a rockin' singing voice, but with some weird lyrics. Like, what exactly does "lickle" mean? Is it a real word, or like an English slang thing with indeterminate meaning (Ex: the word "chav." Chav? Huh? All I know is that that is what they are calling Posh Spice and that Jordan chick but I don't know exactly what it means. I kind of think it's similar to calling someone a redneck but I'm not entirely sure.)? And what, exactly, does she mean by "rulers one thing but come Brixton, nobody stands in between me and my man?" What?!?!? I think maybe she drinks.

I went to the gym today

Since I've been taking this walking/fitness class, I've been trying real hard to eat right, and today I started WORKING OUT IN THE GYM. That's right, Couch Potato Extraordinaire went to the gym and lifted weights and pulled levers on the machines and stuff. I'm writing about it because I need accountability. It's very easy to be gung-ho for a couple days or weeks, but I always seem to fizz out after, well, not usually very long. I suppose I lack discipline or something like that. Okay I totally don't suppose, I DEFINITELY lack discipline and EVERYTHING like that, at least when it comes to working out. So here I have posted a picture of my heroine, Xena--cuz you know darn well she didn't whine and complain when she didn't feel like getting off her patushka to train with that chakram (on a side note, I never noticed before how much the designs on the chakram look like bunnies. Bunnies. On a weapon that could get way worse than medieval on your heiny. Nice going, people-who-forged-the-prop.). Nosiree bob, you simply can't throw around a magic frisbee (or large, fur-and-leather clad bad guys, or insane serial killers named after one of Jupiter's moons, or seriously hot but obnoxiously egotistical gods of war, or Julius Caesars, DANG that woman got around) like she did without a heck of a lot of practice. And you know homeskillet was BIG. I mean, I don't know what she could bench press but I imagine compact cars weren't out of the realm of possibility. Anyway, since I don't have a big poster of Xena to put up on a wall somewhere with a cartoon balloon coming out of her mouth saying "I'll kick your @#$ if you don't exercise today, pantywaist!!!" (and even if I did, that would be kind of weird) I figured I'd just upload it to the blog where I know I can turn anytime for some inspiration. I used to love watching Herc and Xena back in the 90's. Also Earth, Final Conflict--but I digress, and I'm too tired to fully explore this digression. It's freakin' midnight and I have been up since 6:00am and I have to get up again at 6:00am and lie around in bed staring at my alarm clock saying to myself "just 5 more minutes" until it gets to be 7:00am and I finally roll out of bed, step into my fuzzy purple slippers, stumble into the living room and lie down on the couch until 7:15am. Then I usually get up for realz. I just freakin' digressed again and tomorrow I'm going to read this and go "now that post was stupid" but I won't bother deleting it because if nothing else, it has this truly excellent pic:

Because that, my friends, is just priceless.

Linky Dinky of the Day

So, last week the members of my gym class were guests in the Tai Chi class that goes on at the same time as our walking class, and we did this one move that exercised our arms and legs and all I could think of was badger badger badger badger badger badger badger badger badger badger badger MUSHROOM MUSHROOM. I'm telling you it was the exact same dance (?) that the badgers were doing. Watch the vid and you'll see.

Here's the original.
This is a different version.
Just in case you can't get enough dancing badgers.
No badgers, but this is what introduced me to the hotness that is J. Picking.
I forgot about this. They're everywhere.

Linky Dinky of the Day

I don't care what anyone says. This man is gorgeous and I desperately want a lock of his shining, chestnut-hued hair for my very own. Also he is exquisitely talented (remember when he was Michael Knight? And Mitch Buchannon on Babewatch? I mean Breastwatch? I mean BAYWATCH?!?!? AAARGH and didn't he play a guy named Snapper on General Hospital or something in the 70's? You KNOW you watched it!!! Ahhhhh, Hasselhoff. . .what is a Brad Pitt or a George Clooney compared to thee?) as evidenced by the following video, and yeah it's old, and yeah you've probably already seen it, but I found this awesome picture of him that I wanted to put up, so I figured I should link it to that vid, but take heed: anyone who watches it, and has the utter gumption to not like it, and say so out loud within earshot of my, uh, ears, will have to answer to me. I mean it!!! David Hasselhoff has given his all for his craft, his heart and soul and quite possibly a sizable chunk of his me-time to his particular brand of thespianism, and I shall give you a very stern dressing down if you dare hassel (yeah, I said it!!!) this angel-on-earth.

See, you people think I'm being sarcastic but after you watch this you'll see why I'm such a big fan. Nobody, but nobody, could pull this off but the Hoff. Nobody!!! Well, maybe Christopher Walken, but I kind of think he might put too ironic a spin on it and suck some of the joy from it. Or maybe not. On second thought I take that back. Christopher Walken is the hotness. I think I liked him best in the Dead Zone but he even brought awesomeness to Joe Dirt, and that is no mean feat. However, David Hasselhoff David Hasselhoff David Hasselhoff!!! He's wearing a Speedo with a leather jacket!!! Can you imagine anyone else pulling that off? Nobody can do that, NOBODY!!! It would look extremely dorky on anyone else in the whole wide yurld, but David Hasselhoff--not. He is Adonis, Apollo, and Kevin Sorbo all rolled into one. I miss Kevin Sorbo. Thank goodness for syndication. At least I can still catch Andromeda.

College Algebra is not rocket science. . .

. . .or so sayeth one of the brainiac tutors who helps me in the math lab, but dern (or is it "durn?") if I can graph a page full of functions without getting a headache and feeling like running around in circles [with a radius of 1/2 cubit, whose center is at (-1, 7)] just to make myself feel normal again. AAAAAAAAAA, but I will triumph. I only have one really cerebral class this summer (I'm also taking a gym class but I don't really have to study much for that, hee. I hope like heck my gym teacher never reads this, cuz she can totally kick my patushka. Have you noticed how often I like to veer off on totally unrelated parenthetical tangents?) so I CAN DO IT. It's funny, but for some reason I seem to understand my assignments better if I'm doing them in the math lab, even if no one is helping me. Maybe it's because it's a learning environment, without all the distractions like laundry and the dog and the tv that I have at home. Or maybe it's all the brain waves from the Math People (da da DAAAAH) flying around the room and helping me understand via osmosis. I don't know. Either way, I love the people of the math lab. Do you hear me, people who can make jokes about things like asymptotes and parabolas and cube roots and the quadratic formula and get why they're funny? I LOVE YOU. You're the meaning in my life, you're the inspiration, you give meaning to my life, you're the inspiration. I never really noticed how redundant that line was until just now. Stupid Chicago!!! I bet they don't know how to find the equation of a line when given 2 points by calculating the slope and putting it into slope-intercept form!!! Let's see Peter Cetera try to find a polynomial of minimum degree that has the given zero!!! Just because they can count all the way to whatever number album they're on now, sure as the dickens doesn't mean they know how to solve systems of linear equations using the Gauss-Jordan elimination on augmented matrices!!! I have no idea what I just said!!! So take that, Messrs. "25 or 6 to 4" (what, you think you can impress us with ratios? YOU HAVE NO IDEA WHO YOU'RE DEALING WITH, MESSRS. I like using the word "messrs.")!!! This here is an exclusive club, and you, and all your lowly ilk, are not invited to the party. So there!!! *makes really mature raspberry sounds and sticks her thumbs in her ears and waggles her fingers at Chicago*

And that concludes this post-"I just spent 3 and 1/2 hours in the math lab NOT doing rocket science" insanity session. Have a lovely!!!

Oh, yeah: Just so you know, I don't have to do any problems as complicated as that monstrosity at the top of the post. It was just for dramatic effect. Most of the stuff I do is more like:

See? A picture's worth (31.6227766x)^2, where x= + or -1, words!!! AAACK!!! HELP!!!